With the holidays around the corner, chances are you are frantically trying to come up with something unique for your favorite women instead of, or once again, going for the tried-and-true bottle of perfume. It’s not easy coming up with an affordable gift that will be exciting, different and — most of all — not returned or regifted. Help is on the way.
I am both a sexual medicine expert and an Olympic-level shopper, which makes me uniquely qualified to recommend one-of-a-kind gifts. And if you want some of these items for yourself, forward this article to your sister or spouse or a bestie to help make this the season of love — and other stuff. The subject line should read: “BUY me these things and we will ring in a GREAT holiday season and New Year!"
Ditch the T-shirt and set the stage
Who doesn’t love to sleep in a super soft, super faded oversize T-shirt? But we are not talking about sleeping here. Yes, it might seem retro, but there’s a reason that sexy teddies still sell. I promise, if you look like you are in the mood, it will help you be in the mood. Not confident about your postmenopause body? His/hers isn’t perfect either. Don your sexy teddy, turn off the lights, add a few scented candles, and everyone looks fabulous! And afterward you can put your comfy T-shirt on for actual sleeping.
A toy you do not want to keep for yourself
Many well-meaning men think your toy of choice will be a replica of the male sex organ. Women know to buy a small external bullet-style vibrator that you can hold on the right spot — either on your own or during intercourse. And if you are feeling slightly self-conscious about taking your new mini-vibrator everywhere you go, opt for a style that looks like a lipstick.
Functional jewelry
While we are on the topic of “special” toys, a mere $69 will buy a very cool-looking necklace, that — you guessed it — is also a discreet vibrator. The Vesper necklace can theoretically be used for sore neck muscles, but I recommend it for that other area that benefits from a little vibration. You can even plug it into your computer to recharge. Big spenders can splurge on an engraved 14-karat gold version.
Warm it up!
Picture a cold winter night and you are ready to cuddle. Nothing ruins “the moment” like slapping on freezing cold lube Down South. An inexpensive massage oil warmer doubles as a lube warmer. A little pricier, but totally worth it is Pulse, a warmer that sits on a bedside table and with the wave of a hand gives you a serving of warm, super slippery lubricant or massage oil for your other parts. The device comes with preloaded pods.
Super slippery lubricant
While I am on the subject of lubes, nothing is hotter than a partner who comes prepared. But the world of lubes is confusing. There are shelves of vaginal lubricants that warm up, light up and come with a theme song. Too many men may grab the first product they see and then cover it up with a can of shaving cream in case they bump into someone they know. But your vagina deserves the best — the best being silicone-based products that are slippery, long-lasting and nonirritating. Silicone lubes are a little pricier than water-based lubes, but you are well worth it.
A book is always nice
Take a long walk together and listen to the audiobook Becoming Cliterate, by Laurie Mintz. And for any guy who has experienced his partner’s cry of “ow, OW, OW, OMG … please stop!” instead of cries of delight, my own book Slip Sliding Away: Turning Back the Clock on Your Vagina — A Gynecologist’s Guide to Eliminating Post-Menopause Dryness and Pain is a valuable read. Together, you can learn about solutions to eliminate sandpaper sex.
Lickable body chocolate
I know, you are more than sweet enough without coating yourself with chocolate, but why not gild the lily with Wet’s edible baked chocolate chip cookie oil? While edible chocolates such as these are advertised as a massage oil/lubricant, they are not genital friendly and may even cause irritation and burning. So slather these potions on other parts of your body that might enjoy getting licked.
A box to put it all in
I know what you’re thinking: Great! So my grandkids and dinner guests will be snooping around my bathroom and come across my stash of toys, lubes and body chocolate. Not to mention, when you die, everyone will know what you have been up to! To put your mind at ease, The UVee Clean toy box not only stores your toys, cleans your toys and charges your toys, but most importantly — it locks up your toys.
The products (I have no financial relationship with any of these products other than my book).
Uvee Clean Toy Box
Lickable Chocolate Oil
Lipstick vibrator
Becoming Cliterate
Slip Sliding Away: Turning Back the Clock On Your Vagina-A gynecologist’s guide to eliminating post-menopause dryness and pain
Replens Silky Smooth Silicone Lubricant
The Vesper Necklace
Pulse Lubricant and Massage Oil Warmer
Date Night Candles
Elena Scotti
