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When the save-the-date email landed in my inbox, I scanned it quickly for some key information. Milestone celebration. Upscale venue. Late January. During the week. Hmmm.
Immediately, my mind went to What should I wear?, because that’s how I roll. When an invitation for a special occasion arrives, others may wonder about the food or who they will see, but I start shopping my closet and the Internet.
Was a maxi chiffon skirt in dusty blue better than black? What about that wrap-around dress my daughter had flagged for me? Was a silver metallic motorcycle jacket too much? One thing that was a definite must was the black purse pelted with silver grommets — especially if I went with the silver moto jacket. My mind was whirring through the options like a blender attacking ice cubes.
Then the actual invitation arrived — with a surprise. I discovered I had made a rookie mistake. The time was wrong. In my mind, I was dressing for a 6:30 p.m. start time, when in fact that was the end time. Chiffon was definitely out of the question now. And how would metallic faux leather look in daylight — edgy or gaudy?
In my haste, I had flunked one of the five basic questions that help guide any special-occasion dressing decisions. Here’s what you need to know to pass the test.
What Is the Event?
In other words, how important is this special occasion. If it’s an invitation to something you’re unfamiliar with, do your homework. Ask friends, family and colleagues if they’ve attended and can provide tips. An Internet search may turn up useful information and party pics too. And don’t assume anything. Despite its name, showing up at the Cattle Baron’s Ball wearing a ballgown would be a definite no-no. The annual Dallas fundraiser has always been a boots-and-jeans event.
Another factor in determining specialness is frequency. For example, is this special occasion a once-in-a-lifetime event like a child’s wedding or meeting a hero? Is it a milestone celebrated every five, 10 or 50 years? Or is it an annual celebration like a birthday, anniversary or Valentine’s Day? And, perhaps just as importantly, will this be your first time — or could it even be the last time — you attend?
Where Am I Going?
Make sure you do a full 360 around this question. It may not be as simple as it seems.
For example, if you answer “to dinner,” that is only part of the story. Is it at your posh friend’s swanky club, your partner’s favorite steakhouse or your bestie’s backyard? Who else will be there and how formal, trendy or comfortable do they tend to dress?
And don’t forget this last consideration: How far will you have to walk? This could be the deciding factor for your entire outfit as you consider balance and proportion. Popular block heels can help you thread that needle if you need the height of a pump but don’t have the will for a hike in skinny stilettos.
When Is the Event?
Here’s the one that tripped me up, so read the invitation carefully! Whether it’s a wedding or another celebration, there is a line in the sand when it comes to attire for late afternoon vs. evening events.
Typically, the later the event, the dressier. For some, that may mean a shift from faded jeans to a dark-wash pair. While others may be tempted to break out the glitter and rhinestones in the afternoon, you know better. Save the twinkle — and cleavage — for when the stars come out. Ditto the chiffon and anything else that has ever gone to a prom.
Conversely, a sporty, tweedy approach in the evening can feel equally out of step. Even if Sporty Spice is your patron saint, look for an opportunity to add a flash of dressed-up flair.
What’s My Role?
A potentially thorny question, this one demands a certain amount of self-awareness.
Lucky is the single guest invited out for a special occasion with their significant other. Likewise, the mother of the bride or honoree of the event. You clearly get top billing and can dress accordingly. And shame on those guests who try to rival your glory!
For all the other attendees, the issue to wrestle with is this: How much do I want to stand out? If you are a bit player wanting to make an impression — or a main character required to do so — you can be yourself but extra. Extra sparkly. Extra elegant. Extra accessorized. Extra fluffed and manicured.
If this is a command performance that requires attendance among the supporting cast, you can breathe easier. There are fewer requirements or expectations for your costuming other than being presentable. Often, that is the desired effect. If you glam it up too much, you may be stealing the spotlight.
Do I Want to Wear This Again?
Answering this can lead to several different destinations. If you want a truly unforgettable dress, that is one path. If you want something current and budget-friendly, you can take a different route. And, if you want a new staple — like a little black dress — that can survive multiple special occasions with a swap of accessories, you’ll end up elsewhere.
If it’s truly unforgettable, you probably won’t be wearing that dress again because, well, everyone will remember it. That is the curse of this choice. But the saving grace may be that you don’t have to buy a spectacular outfit, you can now lease one for considerably less. An internet search will uncover ample resources and discerning reviews from those who’ve done just that.
For current and budget-friendly finds, I’m a fan of these five stores. Plus, you can track down special-occasion deals at discount stores like T.J. Maxx, Nordstrom Rack and Saks Off 5th.
Finding a multi-season staple may take more sleuthing. In addition to the budget-friendly options, check out department stores at both ends of the mall for a style with clean lines and not too much drama. That will ensure longevity and a fitting background for a range of accessories you can use to update your special-occasion look.
So, the next time you get an invitation, don’t sweat it. Just remember these five questions. They’ll help you sort through the nuances and find the right fit for your special-occasion outfit.
When is the last time you really got dressed up for a special event? What did you wear? Let us know in the comments below.
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Follow Article Topics: Lifestyle
