Family
Why Moving to a 55+ Community Was a Mistake
Here's where I'm happily settling instead.
Pete Gamlen
Talk to residents of an active retirement community and you will find plenty of people who are living the life they dreamed of after the kids were grown and gone. It’s a carefree life where your club membership often includes lots of golf and fun activities while someone else mows the lawn.
These types of communities, many of which are age-restricted to adults 55 and older, are growing in popularity. Fast..
Estimates vary: There are between 2,000 and 2,500 active 55+ active adult communities in the United States.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, by 2030 all Baby Boomers will be at least 65, accounting for approximately 21 percent of the total U. S. population. Gen-X? In 2030, 37.8 million will be over 55! With these statistics, the demand for these golden playgrounds shows no sign of slowing down.
So, what was it like playing solo in a senior sanctuary?
At 71, I was recently divorced. At the time, I lived in a traditional neighborhood, made up mostly of families busy with work and children plus a few retired couples. The pandemic, along with my marriage, had run its course and I was feeling a new energy, a new me.
I found myself being drawn to the idea of a retirement focused community. with a country club on site, one that offered sports like tennis and pickleball, exercise classes and events. A place where I could meet other singles my age.
I was already familiar with a retirement community about 50 miles from me which I believed would check all my future boxes. It was a beautiful gated, lakeside community spread over more than 1,000 acres. It was also 75 miles from a major city and its airport, which was a plus since, post-COVID, I hoped to travel a bit.
After touring the property and all its amenities, I found a house that seemed designed just for me. I felt sure that moving to the retirement community was the right decision.
At age 72, I leaped into my new life.
The day I moved in, two neighbors, women my age, welcomed me and asked if they could help. I soon met many other residents on our street and discovered I had wonderful neighbors — the best neighbors I have ever enjoyed in fact.
We were almost all retired. Happy empty nesters, we loved hosting dinners, parties and game nights. There were 17 dogs on my street, including mine, so daily dog walks were a time to meet, catch up and enjoy being outside.
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The club amenities were good. The golf course was beautiful. And, 24-hour gated security made me feel completely safe.
Unfortunately, I soon realized I had not done enough research.
First, most of the residents were married. Unlike in some retirement communities, the club had no singles-only events or groups. Still, I had a lot in common with my neighbors and there was a similarity to the overall culture. We all seemed to be reading the same books.
The club then began to morph into a golf-only kind of vibe. Lots of tournaments and activities centered around golf but very little else for the non-golfers. The on-property restaurant was average and there were few other dining options in the area.
And, if you were interested in dating, well, there were five single women for every single man. Despite that, I met and dated someone for several months. Even though it did not work out, we have remained friends.
As for driving into the city or the airport? Those were 75 miles away, and at least one third of the trip was spent in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I did not realize how isolated I would become. There was one supermarket and no large retailers other than a home improvement company.
Isolation quickly became boredom with entertainment and learning opportunities hours away. It was no surprise that the turnover in the retirement community was quite high.
After living there three-and-a-half years, I sold my house and left. I moved to Athens, Georgia, home to the University of Georgia. There are festivals, sports events, , plays and concerts every day . I get to frequent charming little coffee shops and wine bars, lots of music venues, and interesting restaurants. We have excellent medical facilities.
After only a few months, I have enlarged my social circle by taking University of Georgia classes for people over 50. While Athens is much more “me," many of my friends from the retirement community, couples and singles alike, are pleased with the lives they lead. I made a choice that is more well-suited to my individual needs.
I don’t regret my years in the senior community. It helped me discover how I really want to live my life going forward, the tradeoffs I am willing to make, the compromises I won’t make. It was there that I found the single woman in her 70s that I am today.
I like her.
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