Why Mature Women Might Want to Dress Like This

I may no longer attract the male gaze or be looked upon as a sexual object or a badass boss lady. Terrific! Let me be looked upon as a warm and cheerful person wearing a tutu.

My friend, designer Steven Stolman, got me into billowing silk taffeta skirts with wide waist ties several years ago. He likes dressing down his taffeta skirts by pairing them with Shetland crewneck sweaters or plaid flannel shirts. I wear mine like Stevie Nicks might, with black lace leggings, knee-high boots and a cropped faux leather jacket.

Here are more daring “do’s” from this outrageous, adventurous older woman:

DO stay whimsical and playful. As Cohen told me, dressing with playfulness “keeps you vital and vibrant and energetic. When you put something on with a little bit of color, it gets people talking to each other. ‘I love your scarf’…then you say something back and your outfit has created a community of engagement.”

DO rebel against society’s expectations of how women over 50 should dress. Cohen uses his work to combat “a whole industry that makes women feel if they’re older, they can’t be a certain way — you’re too old to wear flamboyant outfits, say, or long hair. No! What you wear is about expressing yourself,” he says.

His “Advanced Style” empire includes a documentary, five Advanced Style books (his latest is Advanced Style: Pets) and an Instagram page with almost 1 million followers. It all started when his grandmother (my best friend) passed away.

As he recalls, “I moved to New York, saw these fabulously dressed older women on the street and began photographing them as a way to connect with older women again. I thought, ‘These people have the power to shift people’s perspectives on aging.’”

DO look for vibrant role models, like the title character on the CBS series Elsbeth.

Elsbeth Tascioni, portrayed by Carrie Preston, is “a character who possesses an infinite capacity for wonder,” Forbes magazine reports. 

Costume designer Daniel Lawson dresses crime-solver Elsbeth in wild prints, bright pinks, greens and yellows and in whimsical brands like Alice + Olivia, Cinq à Sept and Marimekko.

 “I think Elsbeth is very confident in her style and in the way she conducts herself and carries herself,” Lawson said in an interview with Forbes. “We wanted there to be a sense of wonder and awe on Elsbeth's part, and this desire on her part to not be one of these New Yorkers, but to admire them. There's definitely a Midwestern quality, a good, wholesome honesty that comes with her to New York. And New York is perhaps a little more jaded, global and all-knowing.”

Her clothes pop against the drab blacks and grays worn by the New Yorkers she works with — and they charm and disarm those who dare underestimate her.

DO consider yourself a work of art. At 69, I pay more attention to my outfits than I did at 29 — because standing out as my authentic self matters more to me than fitting into someone else’s rulebook. I want people to notice my crazy cat-embroidered skirt, and then tell me about their three cats. If a skirt can make someone smile and make a connection, why not?

I have more freedom to look quirky now, too. The other day, the 20-something stylist giving my hair its weekly blowout complimented me on my slouch boots and my patchwork maxi skirt made of strips of soft flannel in red, blue and green plaids. I looked like a svelte quilt. Or an extra from Elf. 

“I love that skirt!” another stylist chimed in, then told us about her favorite patchwork jeans. Women who wear patchwork and tutus are bound to be fun, no matter their age.

And fun is always a DO.