Are You Having Trouble Getting Up and Off the Couch?

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When it comes to making healthy lifestyle changes, I know what I’m supposed to do — get off the couch and go for a walk. Stop doom-scrolling before bed. Put the bag down after two cookies. Call the friend who left a message five days ago. It’s not that complicated, right? Except, sometimes, it is.

Let’s start with the fact that I hate the term “supposed to." It sounds like I am being nagged, and it brings out the inner rebel in me. I instantly go to “I don’t wanna!” instead of “Hmm, that sounds like a good idea.” Plus, it only leaves me feeling guilty when I don’t follow through.

I do believe in the power to change, especially when it comes to the small behavioral tweaks that add up to big benefits in physical and emotional well-being. Let’s face it, though, making the decision to start new habits can be easier than sticking with it. Here are five secrets to staying motivated that I’ve found really work.

1.  Know your “why”

Over the years I’ve discovered that the most important secret to staying motivated, whether it’s related to fitness, nutrition or lifestyle, is to make sure I’m doing it for myself. Losing weight, changing your appearance or even adapting new eating habits to please someone else is not only bound to fail but can lead to resentment. Honestly, we’re too old for that.

Once you’ve eliminated people-pleasing from your motivation, it’s worth digging a little deeper to find a "why" that has staying power. Trying to lose weight to look like someone on Instagram, or even to fit into your clothes from five years ago, is a more short-term “why” than wanting to make a positive impact on your health, mind, body and spirit.

Tip: Spend some time thinking about why you want to make a change. Write down how it will make you feel in the long-term. Will it give you more energy to do the things you love? Improve your heart health or mental well-being? Once you have your “why," put the list someplace where you’ll see it every morning so it is a sustained source of motivation.

We only get this one life.

2. Think small 

If your goal is too enormous, you’re likely to give up after a few weeks. On the other hand, setting small realistic steps along the way will help you build confidence and provide the positive reinforcement that will keep you going. There’s a reason most training programs to run a 5k begin with walking, not running.

After a week or two, participants might progress to include 30 seconds of running. And then progress again to a minute. Before you panic, let me be clear, I’m not saying you should immediately begin training for a 5k. But borrowing the technique, little steps lead to bigger steps — no matter what your goal — is worthwhile.

Tip: Break your long-term goal into weekly steps. If you’re trying to eat less sweets for example, instead of going cold turkey, cut the amount of sugar you consume in half for the first week, then in half again the following week.

Start by going out to dinner by yourself. A theater performance. An overnight trip. Then comes that two-week safari that tops your bucket list.

I’m a single 60-something and love to travel. After my husband died, I traveled a lot of with my daughter, who is now married and has a new travel partner. I still want to see more of the world and have built up the nerve to take an overseas adventure, a hiking tour in Europe.

3. Buddy up

Having a friend along for the ride not only adds accountability, but it can also make it more fun. When I realized I was having trouble getting out of the house once the weather turns cold, I reached out to a friend I suspected was having the same issue.

We set up a plan to meet for a walk two afternoons a week. Knowing she was out in the cold waiting for me made me far less likely to slack off. Not everyone can take a walk, of course. To avoid feeling disconnected in the winter months — which saps the energy to do pretty much anything — try setting up a weekly call with friends or family. Then put it in your calendar as you would any important appointment.

Tip: Schedule daily check-ins with your change buddy. Sharing your struggles along with your little wins will make you feel less alone.

4. Reward yourself

Rewarding yourself with a hot fudge sundae every time you take a yoga class will kind of negate the health benefits. (Sorry.) That said, a hot fudge sundae after going to yoga twice a week for two weeks? I’m down for that.

Rewards don’t have to cost a penny. Sometimes the best reward is doing absolutely nothing. Giving yourself an entire afternoon to turn off the phone, lounge with a favorite streaming series, wrapped up in your most comfortable bathrobe, can be just the break you need to get back to your small motivational steps tomorrow.

Tip: Banish guilt. Seriously. Feeling guilty about a reward whether it’s ice cream or just lounging, defeats the purpose. After all, isn’t the point of all this to enjoy life more?

I’ll confess that this morning it’s pouring out and the last thing I feel like doing is going outside, much less taking a walk. I do know, though, that if I don’t go out at all, I’ll have trouble sleeping tonight. So, my plan: Small steps, and rewards. I’m going to tell myself I only have to go around the block once while listening to a podcast, then come home and curl up in from the TV. After all, it’s not about being perfect, it’s about just doing it — whatever your “it” is.