The More You Sleep, the More You Do This

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Once, during a rough period, I was sitting in my therapist’s office trying to root out the cause of my lack of motivation when she looked at me with a knowing expression. “First, we need to figure out if you’re depressed or just exhausted,” she said. It was the latter. Simply realizing how being tired was affecting my mood made everything feel more manageable.

While there have been numerous studies on how not getting enough sleep affects physical health, including increasing the risk of cardiac disease, diabetes, stroke and high blood pressure, a growing body of research demonstrates there is also a strong link between insomnia and mental health.

Think of it as a chicken-and-egg situation — the nighttime edition. For example, lack of sleep can exacerbate depression and anxiety. At the same time, depression and anxiety can make insomnia more likely.

Unfortunately, a good night’s sleep can be more elusive as we get older. That’s one of the reasons we need to pay attention now more than ever to how restless nights can affect us emotionally. One large National Library of Science study titled “Sleep problems in anxious and depressive older adults” was based on a sample of 2,759 participants aged 65 years and older. The research determined that seniors who wake up often during the night or early in the morning are more at risk for anxiety and depression

I’m not telling you all this to make you more depressed, anxious or sleepless, though it might seem like that. Rather, once you understand the link between sleep and mental health, you can take steps to improve your mood and well-being.

Before you reach for over-the-counter drugs or prescription sleep medications, it’s worth it to give lifestyle changes a try. This means including meditation, spending time outdoors and making sure you get enough exercise, all of which can help you sleep better and improve your mood overall.

Depression: When blue nights turn into blue days

“Symptoms of depression include irritability, lack of energy, difficulty concentrating, upsetting thoughts, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, anxiety and impatience,” says Dr. Jane Greer, psychotherapist and author of Am I Lying to Myself? How to Overcome Denial and See the Truth.

“Lack of sleep can accentuate all these feelings, heightening irritability, listlessness, anxiety as well as difficulty focusing and paying attention,” she continues. “To distinguish between several bad nights of sleep and ongoing depression, consider the intensity and persistence of symptoms. After a sleepless night, you might feel tired and lose interest in activities temporarily.”

However, if this sense of hopelessness and depression are sustained and beyond just general fatigue from lack of sleep, seek help from a therapist and/or internist.

After the occasional sleepless night, Dr. Greer recommends going through your day as you typically would but try to be kind and gentle with yourself. “Adjust your expectations for what you want to accomplish and give yourself some slack. Communicate with those around you and let them know you had a bad night's sleep. Reassure them not to take it personally if you seem off. This transparency can help others understand your situation and be more supportive.”

When I’m feeling down, the first thing I ask myself is if I’ve gotten enough sleep. If I haven’t, it’s a sign for me to distrust whatever doomsday tape loop is running through my head. In fact, I try to avoid any big-picture thinking when I’m tired because chances are it’s not indicative of what’s really going on. It’s not a matter of avoiding problems or pretending they don’t exist but making a conscious choice to put them on hold until I’m more rested.

Quick tip: While it can be hard to get motivated if you are tired and feeling blue, going for even a brief walk outside can improve your mood and may help you sleep better.

Anxiety: Break the feedback loop

There’s no denying these are (very!) anxiety-provoking times. Unfortunately, the middle-of-the-night frights can spill over into nail-biting days.

The National Library of Science study recommends that people affected by anxiety are better off waiting until they are sleepy before they go to bed and create rituals such as breathing exercises to ease worries. Simply concentrating on the sensation of air passing through your nostrils slows the energy needed for worrying.

Quick tip: Leave your phone out of reach. Doom-scrolling before bed has never helped a single person. And staying up all night, into the wee hours, binging on a new streaming show can mean you see the sun coming up, without having a minute of slumber.

Decision-making: Sometimes it pays to procrastinate

I’ve come to realize I should avoid making any decisions beyond what to have for dinner when I haven’t gotten enough sleep. Here’s why: When we’re tired, we tend to make riskier choices, in part because we may not have a realistic understanding of the ramifications. Our impulse control also tends to take a nose-dive.

I strongly suggest putting any decisions from important life matters (such as whether to move or not) to small ones (the snarky text you’re tempted to send) on hold. Very few decisions in life can’t wait a day.

Quick tip: Writing down your thoughts before you go to bed can help to prevent them from cycling through your brain when you’re trying to sleep. Need to make a decision? Make a list of pros and cons, then put it aside for when you’re feeling better. Calls to a friend can also help you get out of your own head, though if it’s late, choose a pal in an earlier time zone!

Want to get more bang for your (mental health) buck? Combine all three tips. Take a walk outside with a friend and leave your phone on silent.


Do you have a hard time sleeping at night? What do you do about it? Let us know in the comments below.