Are you an older woman who likes to travel? Or who would like to travel more? Or who is looking to find a travel buddy? Then join our very special closed Facebook group, The Ethel On-The-Go, today. You'll love it!
I was thrilled when my daughter, Sasha, got engaged last year. Her fiancé is a great guy. They moved to the same city I live in and began planning a summer wedding. Aside from a few spats about the venue and the guest list (okay, more than spats, but let’s move on), it’s been smooth sailing.
Sasha is the opposite of a bridezilla. Her heart’s desire is a low-key (if large!) outdoor wedding in the Hudson Valley. She fell in love with the first dress she tried on. The DJ is booked. At this point you are probably thinking, Wait, I thought this was a story about exercise myths. Why on earth are we talking about weddings? I’m getting to that.
With Sasha all set, I began to think, (obsess is more like it), about what I would wear to walk my daughter down the aisle. Her father died when she was young so it will be a solo journey on my end. The choice of dress presented several challenges.
The wedding will be outdoors on a farm at the height of summer. The vibe is more Bohemian than black tie, but still cocktail/festive. A long, pretty sleeveless summer dress should be a no-brainer. Here’s the problem: I hate my arms. More specifically, my upper arms, better known as bat wings. Listen, I’m all for body positivity, but I’m just being honest here.
Nevertheless, long sleeves would simply be too hot. Sweating down the aisle? I prefer not. I must have ordered a gazillion dresses with short sleeves. (Sidenote: Who decided that every single summer dress this season must have puffy sleeves?)
They may look good on other women, but they make me appear like a linebacker in drag. When I saw a long slip dress with spaghetti straps online that I absolutely loved, I decided to try it. Reader: I loved it. This, unfortunately, necessitated finding a strapless bra that actually works on size D breasts, but I digress.
Finally, we have landed on the exercise part of the story. With the dresses hanging in my closet, my next obsession became how I tone up my bat wings. (Surgery is not an option.)
I have worked out most of my life. Remember Jane Fonda’s tapes? Step aerobics? Been there, done that. I was even the editor-in-chief of Fitness Magazine for many years. I actually like reading the latest research on exercise.
In other words, I like to think I’m pretty savvy when it comes to fitness, but when your only daughter’s wedding comes into play, all bets are off. In a temporary fugue state, I initially fell for one of the biggest exercise myths of all: that you can reduce fat in specific problem areas.
Here’s the truth: The only way to lose that extra something in specific spots is by reducing overall body fat. Some women store fat in their abs, some in their butts. For me, it’s my upper arms. This is genetics at play. If your mother tended to store weight in a specific spot, chances are you will be predisposed to do the same.
My mother was tiny. Her arms? Not so much. This doesn’t mean you throw up jiggly arms in defeat. It does mean you need a two-pronged approach that includes cardio (for heart health and weight loss) as well as strength training. Although you may not be able to target your fat loss to a specific body part, you can do targeted exercises that will build strength and tone some of the most common problem areas including the big three of arms, abs and butt.
This will not only firm things up so you look tighter, but it can help ward off post-menopausal muscle loss, reduce the effects of osteoporosis and help you pick up your suitcase or your grandkids more easily.
For me, this dual approach translates into the following: upping my cardio a bit (even if it's just walking more) to shed a few extra pounds and building upper body strength with push-ups, (on my knees), and bicep/triceps curls with five-pound weights. I leave the weights near the TV as a reminder!
Here are some of my top equipment-free exercises for arms, abs and butt. While you may want to concentrate on one area, it’s best for your overall health and balance, crucial to prevent falls, to work on all three.
Bat wings: Push-ups are one of the best all-around exercises for toning up arms. They may sound intimidating, but they needn’t be. Start by doing wall push-ups. Stand facing a wall a couple of feet away. Place your hands on the wall at shoulder height. Keeping your back straight and your core engaged, bend your elbows until your chest is close to the wall, then push back to your starting position. (You can also push off on your feet from a high kitchen counter.) And swimmers out there! Pump away in your breaststroke and crawl, as both strokes are excellent toners for upper arms.
Abs: A strong core is essential for stability, balance and back health. We’re not talking about whittling abs into a six-pack, or even a one-pack, but building a foundation for everything you do. Those sit-ups you did in gym class all those years ago are not necessarily the way to go. Instead, try doing a plank, which can help build and strengthen your entire core.
To begin, lie face down on a yoga mat or rug. Just be sure whatever you use won’t slip. Bend your elbows and place your hands beneath your shoulders. Pull your belly button in towards your spine as you push up to balance on your toes and hands, keeping your body in a straight line.
If your wrists get achy (mine do), you can do this on your forearms. Try to hold the position for a count of 10 and then lower back down slowly. Aim to work to 30 seconds and eventually one minute. And if all of it makes you ache, you can also plank from your knees.
Butt: One of the best booty boosters is actually one of the simplest. Squats have the added benefit of strengthening your lower body to help prevent falls, build muscle, improve balance, help with walking and climbing stairs and even burn calories, Start by standing with your feet slightly wider than hip-width apart. Keep your chest up (don’t look down as it might make you slump), squat as if sitting in a chair then rise back to starting position, squeezing your butt at the top. Start by repeating 10 times. (I do these every day!
Back to the dress
I have been doing all of the above and have even found a strapless bra that works. Thank heavens for free shipping and easy returns because it took some 30 tries. Do I look like the model in the dress I first saw? Of course not. But I definitely feel stronger.
The biggest myth of all is that you have to have a perfect body to wear, well, anything. We are too old to fall for that! I am going to keep up my exercise program because it gives me confidence, but the last thing I will be thinking about when I walk my daughter down the aisle is my arms! Although, they are tighter than a year ago!
What type of exercises do you try to do each week? Let us know in the comments below.
