I’ve been writing about beauty and skincare long before I needed to take my own advice — throughout my 20s, 30s and even in my youthful 40s. I didn’t have gray hairs or varicose veins to think about. Still, despite being thin, I grew up in the Age of Twiggy, and in those younger days I did obsessively pinch the skin at the side of my waist which separated my upper and lower torso. I performed this ritual at least a dozen times a day.
And although I finally overcame that fixation, I was an early adopter of facial fillers in my 50s which I continue to use until this day.
Still as I get older and there are more signs of my aging — wrinkly knees, “bat wings” that hang off my arms, sun spots from too much unprotected fun in the sun — it can be easy to feel insecure. With social media reflecting a cultural obsession with unattainable beauty standards, it can be a struggle to accept the natural changes that occur over time.
Sure, true beauty goes beyond what we see in the mirror — but that old adage can be hard to believe. Nevertheless we can learn from a number of celebrities who are leading the way in challenging what it means to be beautiful as we age:
Actress and model Andie MacDowell, 66, who let her hair go gray; Pamela Anderson, 57, who I think looks more beautiful than ever now that she’s shunning makeup; Diane Keaton, 78, Diane von Furstenberg, 77, and Lauren Hutton, 81. These aging icons who regularly post pictures of themselves, wrinkles and all, seem to be having the time of their lives.
When my friend, Felicia, was asked to pose in her underwear for a fashion website a few years at the age of 84, she jumped at the chance. “How many times at this age do you get to do something new?” she said. And esteemed photographer Rosalind Solomon, 92, recently published A Woman I Once Knew, a book of images in which she is naked throughout the years.
It’s revelatory and frank and the confidence it took to take — and to publish those photos — is inspiring. Solomon does us an enormous service by portraying this sentiment — this is what aging looks like, and it’s okay.
The first step to feeling comfortable in our own skin is to reframe how we view aging and physical imperfections. It's important to remember that wrinkles, gray hairs and other so-called "flaws" are simply a natural part of the human experience. They are not something to be "attacked" or eliminated, but rather marks of a life well-lived. Each line on our face tells a story — of laughter shared, wisdom gained and experiences cherished.
Rather than trying to fight the aging process, we can choose to embrace it. One effective way to do this is by practicing self-acceptance. Look in the mirror each day and affirm the things you appreciate about your appearance, rather than focusing on perceived flaws. Make a conscious effort to avoid harsh self-criticism and to silence that inner voice that tells you you're not good enough.
Build a positive self-image by surrounding yourself with supportive people who love and accept you as you are. Spend time with friends and family members who make you feel valued for your personality, character and unique gifts, well beyond your looks.
Years ago, when I interviewed actress Ali MacGraw, now 85, she spoke honestly about coming to terms with her changing looks and aging: “I know that even if I buy a push-up bra and a Corvette I’ll never look 18 again,” she said. “And I’ve arrived at a point in my life, where, if there are bags under my eyes, I don’t want to be around people who tell me I look lousy. I want someone to say, ‘You look tired. Are you worried? Is there something I can do?’”
Try redefining what "beauty" means to you. Rather than comparing yourself to unattainable ideals, focus on the unique qualities that make you who you are: your infectious laugh, your kind heart, your brilliant mind or your resilience in the face of life's challenges. By broadening the definition of beauty beyond just physical appearance, we can learn to see the true beauty in ourselves and in others.
Ultimately, feeling comfortable in your own skin is about far more than surface-level appearances. It's about accepting and loving yourself and your so-called flaws. By shifting our mindset, surrounding ourselves with positivity and focusing on our inherent worth, we can learn to embrace who we are, inside and out.
This doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up Botox or stop providing beauty tips. However, I will not let those “fixes” dominate my feelings about myself and they shouldn’t dominate your feelings either. Stick to the beauty routines that make you feel your best, inside and out, and don’t look to others for validation.
We’re all at the age where we’re starting to lose important people in our lives. I know I am. My sister passed away just a few weeks ago. The aging process is a gift, not a burden, and celebrating it is the truest form of self-love.
Which celebrity or celebrities inspire YOU when it comes to aging? Let us know in the comments below.
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